Stand Up Comedy Acts

I'll admit it. When it comes to horror, it's easy to sell me something. If somebody is running around with a chainsaw or an axe or the like and people are disappearing one by one, I will like it. Don't overanalyze me... I'm just not a difficult judge with that.

I do cry rather easily, too, so drama movies are a go.

But when it comes to comedy, I'm a tough critic. Especially when it is stand up comedy. Maybe it's because I find myself so funny.

Jussst kidding.

Anyway, the following acts are the ones that will make me laugh again and again, no matter how many times I watch them.

Eddie Murphy

1983

The "ice cream man" bit

Best quote: "Ice creeeeam! The ice-cream man is coming! Mooom! Mooom! Throw down some money! The ice cream man is coming!"

Kids still do this. I know I did. The little ones on my block do every summer. They could be in the middle of playing Marco Polo or of totally fighting and hating each other, but when that music is heard from around the corner, they will stop dead in their tracks.

This is absolutely on my list, top spot, but, unfortunately, Eddie Murphy uses more than a fair share of curse words, so can't include a clip. However, it is hilarious.

2004

The "eye doctor" bit

Best quote: "I hate that test, 'cause I can't commit.  I can feel my eye doctor losing his patience with me.  What one do like better, Brian?  Number one, or number two?"

That stresses me out every time!

I love how Brian Regan can take an everyday experience and turn it into a comedy skit.  Just about as funny as his lines and delivery are his facial expressions.  I don't know if I have that much control over my face!

2008

The "nail salon" bit

Best quote: "You like long or short?"

"Uh, short nails, please, thanks..."

"Oh, honey, that's why you don't have boyfriend."

One of the best female acts, in my opinion.  I like that she's young and confident, and wish she would do more stand up acts!  I love how she keeps saying the rise in price as her nails keep getting more work done.

2005

The "ADHD" bit

Best quote:  "You know what your problem is?  You don't know how to focus!"

Great salute.

I love how Jeff Allen describes his teachers and how his son's teachers dealt with the both of them.  His comedy comes naturally, and I appreciate that.  If you're a fan, you'll notice he references the "salute focus" in a later bit where he discusses a possible intruder in his house.

2008

The "friend nobody likes" bit

Best quote: "There's always that one person... and I'm looking out, and some of you are like, hm, I disagree... Well, YOU'RE the person nobody likes!"

I'll admit not all of Dane Cook's stand up is exactly genius, but this bit is amazing, comparable to the "sneeze" bit. I quote it all the time, and have to acknowledge exactly who "Karen" is whenever I'm with my friends. Via text obviously. I know it sounds mean, but it's true.

Sorry Karen.

Bill Cosby

1983

The "brain damage" bit

Best quote: (When trying to solve a dispute among children...) "So you say something brilliant... Look! I don't want anybody in this house to touch another person as long as you live!"

True story.

Parents, teachers, nannies, baby-sitters... anybody who has been near a playground or community pool... We all lose our minds when it comes to kids not being able to listen. What is going on there anyway?

2003

The "movie theater" bit

Best quote: "Hey, watch this part... I mean really watch!"

Great face.

Kevin James may have been funny as Doug on King of Queens, but he knows how to deliver stand up, too.  He then goes on to explain why popcorn is great movie food and what happens when his girlfriend won't let him unlock the car door.  Good stuff.

2004

The "trip" bit

Best quote: "No matter how much pain you are in, if people are laughing, you just laugh along with them... Oh, my, can you help me find my eye?"

It's great how Ellen can deliver classic comedy without a trace of foul language and still have the humor. This was a particularly great clip from her Here and Now special, right up to the end when she sings Shoop. Nice person, nice stand up.

* Created October 23rd, 2010